I'm not myself or all those years never was
by Angelina Dragonhart
Summary: Something has happened during the summer that Hermione wants to keep secret. But when things go wrong who will she trust with it?
1. Prologue

~ Prologue ~  
  
She was running through the trees. A cold summer breeze was blowing against her barely clad body.  
  
The forest was dark and she kept tripping and quickly scrambling away.  
  
She shivered.  
  
Tears stung her eyes and ran over her cheeks while she continued to run.  
  
Moments before, she had enjoyed a muggle movie at his mansion.  
  
He had been touching her more during this summer then the last ones, but she hadn't really thought about it.  
  
The realization came after he had pulled her in a demanding kiss. She wasn't ready for more and he had accepted it for now.  
  
They had cuddled a bit longer until he had jumped up suddenly.  
  
By doing so she had fallen off the couch.  
  
Laughing she had reached out her hand to him, so that he could help her up.  
  
Instead of pulling her up, he had pulled out his wand and had tied her arms to the floor, ripped the clothes off her and raped her.  
  
After he was done he had given her a tattoo on her right shoulder, and said that she was now his property.  
  
He had left her like that, tears in her eyes, clothes barely on, acing all over.  
  
She had managed to pull herself out of the bonds and ran from the room.  
  
Now she was running through the woods near his mansion, with him chasing her.  
  
In the distance she could see light burning, but because she had only been in the forest once she didn't know if she was safe or running towards his mansion again.  
  
'Please let it be the first, if he catches me I will never see the world again.' She pleaded while running towards the lights. 


	2. I don't care

Summary: Hermione enters her 7th and final year at Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Something has happened during the summer that she wants to keep secret. But when things go wrong what will she do? Who can help her? Who will she trust with her secret?  
  
AN: This story is R-rated because off smudge and possibly rape graphics.  
  
~ =Song lyrics  
Chapter name thanks to Savage Garden: I don't care (just cut the pieces  
that I needed, the lyrics you see now are not in right order.)  
  
Chapter 1: I don't care  
  
Hermione Granger walked slowly across the platform. She looked different. Her hair wasn't as bushy and frizzy as it always had been, but more in long equal waves. Her body had developed as well, no longer small and scarily thin, but long legs and curves in all the right places.  
  
~ I ride this train,  
In the windswept morning,  
And the sunlight warms the faces,  
Of the faithless who are waiting. ~  
  
She got stares all around, but didn't want to see them. She walked over to the train and with a little help she got her things into an empty compartment. Once inside she locked the door with a single swish of her wand, sat down and burst into tears.  
  
~ I ride this train,  
In a dreamlike state of mind,  
Through a field of frozen memories.  
Imagination racing. ~  
  
"Oy Draco, did you see that chick walking there?" As usual tactics weren't accompanied by Vincent Crabbe. "Yeah dude she's hot!" And for Gregory Goyle goes the same. Draco shakes his head in annoyance; yes he had seen the girl, no young woman, walking to the train. She was like a goddess who needs to be worshipped. And new flesh at Hogwarts was never wrong. He gave a sigh and smirked in his special way to them. "Yes I saw her, what is your point?" He asked with a silky voice.  
  
"Nothing, was just wondering if you seen her." "Well then if you are ready with whatever you do when I'm not around, can we hurry or we will miss the train!" both of them did a salute thing they had seen in a muggle movie during the summer. 'Idiots!' Draco thought.  
  
~ People tell me that I feel too much,  
But I don't care, I don't care,  
People tell me that I need too much,  
But I don't care, no I don't care. ~  
  
Harry and Ron had searched the entire platform for Hermione. "Where can she be?" Harry asked and ran his hand through his hair.  
  
"Lost something?" Draco drawled. "None of your business Malfoy!" Ron spat." "Oh I see, you lost your filthy little mud blood. Maybe it is better to keep it that way. Will be one less at Hogwarts." He game them their price smirk before a fist connected with his face. "That'll teach you to talk about her like that!" Ron said with an angry face. "You will pay for this Weasley." "Sorry, don't have the money, maybe next time." He and Harry laughed while walking towards the train.  
  
'Stupid red haired Weasel' Draco thought as he sat in his compartment. He pulled out his wand and pointed it at his face, 'This is going to hurt like hell.' A few moments of pain where nothing, compared to his father's beatings during his life.  
  
But he didn't care. He didn't care about his father, who was currently living in a secret room in Malfoy Mansion. He didn't care.  
  
All he cared about was him self. He had to survive. He had to use his Slytherin abilities to achieve any goals. And his new goal was the girl he had seen a few moments before.  
  
~ I ride this train,  
But I need to make connections,  
No I wasn't staring, I was only trying,  
To get some substance, to get some meaning. ~  
  
Hermione sat through the trip staring out the window and crying. She had sore and red eyes when the train reached Hogsmead. Slowly she went out the train and into the carriages. 


End file.
